Get off that thing. Don’t eat that. No, you can’t have a mohawk. Put my phone down. Stop wrestling. Slow down on that bike.

As parents, we spend so much time trying to keep our kids in line—especially our boys.

In the month and some days since my son passed, I’ve realized that some of my proudest, closest, and most special memories come from the things he did without our approval.

The things we eventually went along with.

This summer, he finally got the mohawk he’d been wanting for ages. His older cousins, whom he idolized, had both rocked mohawks at one point—especially his cousin Finn, who looked and acted like a slightly larger version of Shea. (i.e. Finn Jr. )

So this summer, he got his wish. His uncle Boy trimmed him up, and nothing has ever looked more natural than that kid with a mohawk.

He was so proud. Proud to look like Finn. Proud to show his friends at school. Proud to have a “cool” haircut.

Anyone with a little boy who has had one knows: mohawks have a way of amplifying their energy. I was warned.

All gas, no brakes.


Little paparazzi

Over the past year, Laura and I spent countless hours trying to track down our phones. Shea and Lida had taken to stealing them to snap pictures and record videos.

It drove me crazy.

Fifty or so terrible photos seemed to pop up in my library every week. iCloud perpetually backed up shots of the floor, Shea’s feet, or the top of Lida’s forehead.

But now? I’m so glad they did.

Each photo or video is a window into their relationship when we weren’t around.

Or how they viewed us through their eyes.

Or just how damn funny my boy was.

Dr. Shea Monster.

When I feel strong, I watch them on repeat. Over and over.

Smile about who he was.

Cry about the person you could see him becoming.

Man, he was funny.


Shea Thomas Callanan, our boy, passed away on October 12th unexpectedly. His epilepsy did not define his life, nor will it define his memory. If you feel inclined, please support Shea’s Play Fund which will be used to make play more accessible wherever it is needed most.

NeilCallanan Truths

3 Replies

  1. As the older sister to a brother who got a Mohawk, I made him wear a hat until it grew in. I love how he’s a doctor like your wife, but made fun of your name. I hope these beautiful videos allow his memory to live on and have little messages that let you know he’s strong and with you always. Love to you and your family. XO

  2. “I’m a gun fighter!”, while wearing his sister’s dress and PJ pants, with his missing front teeth.
    “HiLo!”
    His beaming smile at 0:30.

    I miss you, buddy.

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